The New Blacklist

PHONE SEX CAN BE A DIFFICULT JOB.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER=welcome to the NiteFlirt Blacklist

The following post describes many aspects of those callers’ who eventually come around to all of us.  Unfortunately, many people (females) are involved with/in abusive relationships.  Read on to get some valuable information and how to recognize abuse on and off the phone.

Gaslighting-Someone tries to make you believe something that you KNOW isn’t true.

Raging-An extreme over-reaction to a simple question or boundary, an unnatural response.

Defensive-Refusing to accept criticism or correction without anger or blaming you.

Aggressive-Making demands that go beyond the norm or pushing your obvious boundaries.

Delusional-Believing that something is true even with proof that it isn’t.  A fixed belief.

Toxicity-A combination of those above in and out of conversations/relationships.

Over-reactive-Undue emotions to a simple request or suggestion or comment.

HOW TO HANDLE DIFFICULT EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE CUSTOMERS

The next time you find yourself in a difficult call with someone suffering from mental instability or a personality disorder…recognizing the signs can keep you from being abused or allowing someone with these disorders into your phone sex life or worse, your head.

We are humans and as such we have to deal with other humans.  That is not always easy.  Learning how to see the signs of a mental disorder (in REAL life or on the phone) is essential to keeping yourself healthy and making good money with good customers/while hanging up and taking the loss from bad ones.

DARVO-This is an acronym for the following signs and actions by someone who is a narcissist or just a gaslighter.  You don’t have to be a narcissist to gaslight someone.

DARVO (an acronym for “deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender“) is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.

Many phone sex operators who have been in the business for a long time have earned an honorary PhD after dealing with so many sick individuals.  Most of our callers are fabulous and we love them dearly.  Some are just your average guy, and we love them too.  But, once in a while you will get a call from the nutty buddies who use phone sex as a substitute or replacement for all of the personal relationships they have ruined.

REFUSING TO BE ABUSED, GASLIT OR SHAMED or HAVING YOUR HEAD FUCKED WITH OR GETTING PULLED INTO A PSYCHO’S WORLD IS ESSENTIAL TO BEING STRONG AND SUCCESSFUL

Too many new phone sex operators think that they have to put up with abusive or difficult callers because they 1. feel since he’s paying he gets to run the call 2. Afraid of bad feedback.

You owe him NOTHING.  When a difficult, insecure, immature and sick prick causes you to feel confusion, anger, shame or you simply get that tightness in your chest that’s telling you, ‘something’s wrong here’..hang up.  If he leaves you bad feedback it will say more about him than you.  His appalling feedback will show who he is, not you.

When you stand up to or put your foot down or set boundaries with someone who is a gaslighter or a gaslighting narcissist you will usually get a strong response.

eg: flirt clicks on one of my buttons, and I follow-up.  “Hey, you clicked and then blocked me? What’s up with that, is there something you wanted”?

I always follow-up with leads since I’m selling something.  If the response is (which I got) over-reaction, blame, gaslighting (‘she knew I would reach out”) um, yes I’m selling a product, “then blames shames and accused me, of ‘being mad’ which I wasn’t and then victimized me by her pseudo intellectual diatribe, using the word’ ergo…just to show me (as gaslighter’s do) that although she is to blame, she is smarter than me.  THAT IS DARVO.

When you light the fire of a someone with personality disorder you will get an UNNATURAL RESPONSE.  Generally, they lie.  And, they get very angry for nothing.

“My hand must have slipped and I hit a button” I knew you’d do this or get angry so I blocked you” or, the customer says, “It’s your fault I spent this much money and can’t pay by bills, “you told me to call you” when all you did was send out a marketing email, and for no good reason when he does call, he’s angry at hello.  This is the sign someone is very ill.

If you get this type of response after setting rules or boundaries to the following:

1. Insinuates there’s more between you than a pay for play relationship
2. Gets angry with you when you say you have to go, and blames you for ‘taking his money’
3. Asks you outright, “do you enjoy talking to me?” and nothing you say will appease him
4. Or, asks for more than you’re willing to give, and get’s angry with you and shames or blames you then, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A MENTALLY UNSTABLE OR UNHEALTHY PERSON.

HOW CAN YOU HANDLE THESE PEOPLE?

Set the rules.  You have standards. You deserve to be respected.  Gaslighters and abusers cannot change and you cannot reason with them. They often have issues that are much bigger than it appears during their psychodrama.  Nothing you say will make them see themselves.

Gaslighters lie.  It’s nothing more.  They will lie about the simplest thing and say ‘you did that’ when in fact, they did it.  You deserve to know the facts and that facts are real.  You know the truth when it’s there and you can own it.  You deserve to make a living without being abused by anyone.  But, remember, these people are in essence, weak and insecure. 

Don’t lose sight of that.  Set a boundary and watch the result.  If you do and your narcissist or rage-oholic responds with psychodrama, you will know one thing.  They will not change and you cannot win.  Just walk away, hang up and block them.

While remaining very calm say, we are ending this call now.  No matter how he yells, begs, screams, promises ‘not to do it again, or I’ll stop”.  Hang up.  End it.  Over.

If he calls or writes you again after being blocked, and after changing his screen name or opening a new account, remain calm and DO NOT SAY A WORD after you realize it’s him.  Simply hang up, block and report.  You cannot win with these fixated and profoundly sick men/women.  Just ignore.

Feeding someone with these insecurities, fear, and abandonment issues-or giving ANY fuel to their fire excites them!  They need your reaction to feed off of.  DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM.  When they sense they are out of their league intellectually, they will run and block you.  I’ve done that and it’s wonderful.  But, it still sits on your mind “why did they/she/he come to me? How did I invite them into my business?

You probably showed up and showed yourself to be proud, respectable, intelligent and successful.  Narcissists see themselves in you, but the truth is, they aren’t, cannot be and never will be.  It’s like narcissist looking into that water at himself he was transfixed with himself but he drowned.

A real psycho addicted narcissistic person can never be you.  They want to be, but fail.  When they figure that out, they victim blame, try and shame you, put you down, pretend to know you better than you know yourself and when all else fails, get very very angry!

Just hang up.

Report them to the platform you are on for cyber-stalking or harassment.

You can win only by REFUSING TO ENGAGE.  These people do not change.

They are fueled by conflict.

Recognizing the patterns of abusive narcissists is key to putting them where they belong.

Ignored.  DO NOT FEED THEIR NEED FOR CONFLICT!

The flirt I mentioned above has a politically charged listing just for that reason.  She is inviting conflict engagement.  Her livelihood and her personality are fueled by psycho drama and it attracts others with the same personality disorder.

Without a false sense of superiority and wallering in delusions of grandeur (thinking that arguing is ‘winning’) and that they/she is smarter than everyone around her, she if left with her quiet mind, which means she is unnoticed and lonely.  There is no one to fuel her/their false sense of superiority.

LEAVE THOSE CUSTOMERS TO HER OR OTHER’S LIKE HER and do not respond to them, do not fuel them and know that you will make more money on a decent, kind and imaginative person on the next call.

DO NOT ENGAGE THEM.  After all, watch the Capital Riots and the traitor who caused it.  THAT IS THE RAGE displayed by an infantile, insecure narcissist.  Then he reverses victim/offender and makes himself the victim.  We all see it!  It’s right there on video.

This is the essential DARVO relationship.  He is sick and no one can convince him otherwise.

 When a gaslighter is left without fuel, they either rage or blame or shame or resort to violence.

Keep in mind, if you are experiencing any of this type of abuse in real life, get help.

Get out if you can.

Never incite a real sick man into a rage around you, your children or defenseless pets.