I received this report recently, but this isn’t abuse. Since no one knows the flirt who posted, I am hoping this isn’t embarrassing or shaming, but can be seen as a learning tool.
Many flirt’s who don’t have a robust customer base may at times find themselves being ‘leveraged’ by men who know that. They chide, spend, repeatedly cajole and at times…demand something that is against the flirt’s principles.
This is the case below. My notes in red.
Date of offense: over a couple of months (This wasn’t necessary)
Lee is a loaded guy who uses that to manipulate and coax me to do what he wanted. (you let him and his ‘money’ manipulate and coax you) He sends big tributes for gifts and things initially, but if he likes you he will try to make you break ToS. (He liked you or he wouldn’t have spent so much money on you. How you responded to his ‘gifts’ was your first mistake did you seem new to this? Were you too grateful?)
Asked me repeatedly for my personal bank details to “Spoil me” (Assuming you were on cam, your facial expressions and words could have made him feel like he was off his rocker by asking) eg: “A gasp! “I’m not giving you or anyone my personal bank details! Are you crazy? because “it’s just easier than tributes”, your response…(“what’s difficult? you send them I deposit them”? Works for me! LOL” kept bringing up me taking a flight to meet him in his city, (Giggle and roll your eyes, “you and every other customer” –seems like you’re accustomed to women who sell their bodies for money, but as you can see, I don’t even do nude cam from the privacy of my own safe home, so that’s a no…and that’s the end of that subject!
It also helps to remind him you get plenty of gifts and tributes and he’s no different than the rest of them) kept pushing my emotional and sexual boundaries (I am not sure where emotionality comes in to the scene except you didn’t set the parameters of this ‘relationship’ right from the start, he’s a customer and you’re a service provider) Maybe you made yourself too available to him. when I put my foot down numerous times. (YOU DIDN’T PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN, YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED OFF YOUR CAM AND SAID INTO THE TELEPHONE, ‘I AM GOING TO HAVE TO SEVER THIS CALL AND ALL FUTURE CALLS UNLESS YOU RESPECT ME AND MY BUSINESS AND STOP ASKING FOR THINGS I DON’T OFFER, UNDERSTAND ME?”)
Niteflirt is NOT a sugar website (but he chose you because you don’t do nude shows and saw you had principles, this exchange never had anything to do with sugar baby type stuff, unless he talked about that site, remind him that those were whores…His attempts at getting to you were purely a power play on his part to get you to abandon your principles for money) and he treated it completely like it was. Because, he’s a lonely loser who has to pay women, which is normally a sign he is not proficient at relationships and/or is a misogynist.
I don’t do nudity and he would always ask for videos of me touching myself, (get the tribute and send him a video of you eating a pie and rubbing your mouth with a napkin saying, OMG this is sooo good!” IT’S YOUR BODY, YOUR TIME AND YOUR BUSINESS! he asked for my panties to be “as sheer as possible”, “Oh, come on ___insert name here, are you really that desperate?” YOU PAY FOR PUSSY! HA HA HA nope, not seeing mine! would offer to pay any amount. (Take his money!) And turn off your cam, laughing at him! Reminds him clearly who’s in charge here!
I’m usually quite strong and can keep my ground, but he just wore me down to the point where being on the website was unbearable. (YOU KNOW NITEFLIRT HAS BLOCK FEATURE RIGHT?) I can’t imagine what he would do to a newbie flirt, which is why I’m putting this out there. He WILL try take you off site and he is a very rich and powerful man. (No, love, he is a wanna-be powerful man who you LET manipulate you for his money. YOU HAD THE POWER, TO DENY HIM SOMETHING HE WANTED) See notes:
NITEFLIRT HAS A BLOCK FEATURE, use it.
There were a number of ways this flirt could have controlled the situation. The first thing was to walk away from the cam, or turn it off. He was paying to watch her face while he manipulated her AND TO push her boundaries; if he’s accustomed to women being ‘bought’ it would have been fun to deny him every thing he wanted. He would have enjoyed the cat and mouse at first then eventually he would walk away and find easier prey.
I doubt this was his first experience with this. This man wanted to feel “special” and different than any other man who calls phone sex lines. He’s not.
Here were some things I would have (and have) done to remind this type of man, who’s in charge.
1.”Tell him, outright, while I appreciate your tributes, it is your choice to send them, I am not EARNING THEM. You can stop at any time.
2. Make comments when he calls, ‘Oh, Hi!, I thought you were someone else’ laughing, I wasn’t looking at my computer. How are you? This reminds him YOU HAVE OTHER MEN DOING THE SAME THING HE IS.
3.Catch the call before he connects, hang up and change your availability…then raise your rate to $50 per minute! If he calls back, and says something, just LAUGH AND SAY, I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE EASIER THAN TRIBUTES! LOL See how long he sticks around. If he does, then it’s a win! The problem, I find with flirts who want to be ‘nice’ to guys is that on cam your face betrays you. It’s easier to be firm on the phone, I get that.
4. Turn off your cam line and raise the rate on your phone only line, when you know he is calling. If he balks at that, tell him he’s lost cam privileges‘.
5 Don’t answer his calls a few times…and when you see it’s someone else calling, answer it.
TAKE AWAY HIS POWER!
If he says anything remind him that it’s a privileges to see you on cam and “if he can’t remember that and be satisfied with what you offer, then it’s phone only for you!”